Updated Saturday, February 9, 2013 at 08:01 PM
With college football's letter-of-intent day getting a whopping 10 hours of live airtime on ESPNU this year, Kirk Kenney of the San Diego Union-Tribune shudders at what future play-by-play coverage might sound like:
"... He's picking up the pen. Removing the cap. It appears to be blue ink.
"As first reported on this network, he is expected to include his middle initial in the signature.
"Do you believe in cursive? Yes. He signed. He signed. It's all over but the faxing ... "
• At SportsPickle.com: "Struggling Capitals vow to turn season around in time to make usual disappointing playoff exit."
• At TheOnion.com: "Family wondering when Jim Harbaugh will stop making holding sign every 5 seconds."
Back in the fold
Danny Foster, 41, on the lam for 16 years after allegedly wounding his wife and son, was arrested in Miami on Friday — just two days after the boy he abandoned signed a football letter of intent with Alabama.
Rivals.com, saying it just couldn't help itself, immediately declared Foster a five-star fugitive and "a good get" for the U.S. Marshals.
All worked up
"Love Beyonce," wrote Mike Bianchi of The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel. "She's talented and beautiful, but her performance at the Super Bowl wasn't a halftime show; it was an aerobics class."
Saying "a penalty is a penalty no matter when it occurs," 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh blasted the late-game no-call that ensured defeat for:
a) the 49ers against the Ravens in the Super Bowl.
b) the Falcons against the 49ers in the NFC Championship Game.
• Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, to AP, after plunking a spectator with an errant shot during the Pebble Beach Pro-Am: "I know how to do diplomacy; I'm not so sure about the golf course."
• NBC's Jay Leno, on Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez linked to PED allegations yet again: "Here's how bad it is for A-Rod: He is now favored to win this year's Tour de France."
• Jim Sweeney, who died at 83 last week, telling reporters in 1975 why he resigned as Washington State football coach: "Health reasons — the alumni were sick of me."
Paging Sal the Barber
Tim Lincecum, the Giants' long-haired hurler, finally got his trademark locks sheared off.
In other words, he came up with a good cutter during the offseason.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
GENE PUSKAR / AP
It was common to see Jim Harbaugh plead his case to officials.