Updated Saturday, December 22, 2012 at 07:01 PM
Some 2012 holiday greeting cards, courtesy of ESPN.com's DJ Gallo:
• From Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari: "May the spirit of your holiday season not be one and done."
• From Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid: "Ho-ho-ho-horrible. Hoping you had a great year. I've got to do better."
• From the Atlanta Falcons: "(Regular) season's greetings."
• From the NHL: "Silent night."
• At Fark.com: "Belle splits with Tebow, disappointed over lack of passes."
• At SportsPickle.com: "Jets to try one of their other third-string quarterbacks."
Hold that line
Benched Eagles QB Michael Vick — after saying, "I'm not a backup. ... I'm a full-fledged starter" — will likely be playing elsewhere next season.
Well, at least he didn't say he wants to be top dog.
That's snow biz
To offset the NHL's canceled Winter Classic, the minor-league Las Vegas Wranglers announced plans to play their New Year's home game against Ontario "outdoors" — well, sort of.
"Most of the arena's doors will be left open," explained Steve Carp of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, "and artificial snow will drop from the ceiling."
Paging Chris Berman
"The Mayan calendar said the world would end after my deadline," wrote Bob Connolly in the Bronx (N.Y.) Times-Reporter, "so if you're reading this, it didn't happen.
"If it happened, I'm sure ESPN will give us a recap."
Think Eric Dickerson is pulling for the Vikings' Adrian Peterson to break his one-season NFL rushing record? Think again.
"All these guys who say, 'I don't mind my record being broken,' they are a bunch of liars," Dickerson told the Houston Chronicle. "Even if you go back to junior high school and you're the jump-rope champion, you want to hold on to that record."
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Packers kicker Mason Crosby missed a field goal for the eighth game in a row: "There's one Crosby that'll be dreaming of a wide Christmas."
• Steve Harvey of The Bottom Ten, with this year's NFL lowlight: "Jacksonville and Kansas City were declared Bottom Ten champions by Mayan replacement refs."
• Comedy writer Gary Bachman, on Hillary Clinton's recent concussion: "Out of habit, Roger Goodell blamed the Saints."
0 for threes
Denver broke the NBA record for worst three-point shooting by missing all 22 attempts in a 101-93 loss to Portland last week.
Garmin's new marketing slogan: "NOT the official GPS of the Denver Nuggets."
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
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Merry Christmas from Sideline Chatter (and this soccer fan).