Updated Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 07:16 PM
Win, place and ... doe?
Three deer upstaged the horses last Wednesday at the Meadows Racetrack in Washington, Pa., jumping onto the track just before a race and running in tandem for a few minutes. Track announcer Roger Huston took it from there.
"As they race down the track, Bambi has the lead," was his call. "Here comes Rudolph from the outside. ... They are ... they are going the wrong way right now. A race delay as we have a 'deer event.' ... The deer are going to the paddock, apparently an equipment problem! ... In the infield, into the valley go the deer."
As Huston told Pittsburgh's KDKA-TV: "It's funny, when you're trying to think of stuff. The only two deer I could think of were Rudolph and Bambi. I forgot Dancer, Prancer, Vixen and all those others."
And Huston's declared winner was ... Bambi.
• At TheOnion.com: "Charlie Batch frantically rehabbing Ben Roethlisberger's shoulder."
• At Fark.com: "I think Wisconsin just scored on Nebraska again."
"A brawl erupted at Hector 'Macho' Camacho's funeral between two women claiming to be his last girlfriend," noted Greg Cote of The Miami Herald. "At the bell, I had the woman in the purple dress and big hat leading on points."
This year's Here Today, Gone Tomorrow Award goes to:
a) USC football: preseason No. 1 team won only 7 of 12 games
b) Philip Humber: pitched perfect game for White Sox, finished 5-5, claimed off waivers by lowly Astros
Talking the talk
• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after an alleged driving infraction by the Lions' Ndamukong Suh was captured on a police cruiser's dashboard camera: "At least Jim Schwartz didn't throw the red flag and void the video review."
• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the windfall from the Notre Dame-Alabama football title game: "Each school will receive $2 million. The players will get a commemorative tote bag."
Easy on the ice
Detroit Red Wings prospect Riley Sheahan was dressed in a purple Tinky Winky Teletubby outfit — and had a blood-alcohol reading of .30 — when cops pulled him over late on Halloween.
If a visual like that doesn't end the NHL lockout, what will?
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com